wondrin'

I promised myself, i'll make it up with my girls.

start of new year has been really hard for me although, i'm still very positive on my years and years ahead..only there's this one little side of me that's been very confusing and up to now, can't decide on it.

it's Monday now, few hours from work and yet..like any other responsible and hardworking working mom..all I can say is..hayyy! (big big sigh..)

i really dont know when will I ever be happy again.

i mean, it's not that i'm really..really not that happy about life, it's just that i have lot's of questions, worries and most of the time looking for contentment.

although, i know i should not look for it. i should be happy and contented and thankful for all the blessings.

dazed and confused. worried and frightened. all the negatives i know i have..yeah..didn't i mention i'm very positive about my years ahead??? =)

yup, i promised my two girls, i'll make it up with my 3 weeks of not focusing on them.because of me being not in the real world.

i know i'm madaya.selfish i guess. but i love them this much. i have to get back at my feet again.

For them.