Diary of a..

Feb.1, 3:10am. Gising pa rin ako.Palagi naman. Nagsasoundtrip.Nagsusulat dito sa blog.Napansin ko lang,bakit puro kalungkutan naman mga pinagsusulat ko dito? Ewan..ang hirap sungkitin kung anong nasa isip ko.

Nabasa ko ang text ni Kriz.Nakakalungkot.Namimiss niya si BJ.Di ako makapagadvise ng maganda kase kahit ako,apektado din. And I told her..pray hard, in times when she really wanted to give up, pray and ask HIM to give her strength. Sana, ako din magawa ko din ang ganyan.

Hayy! Palagi na lang ako nagbubuntunghininga. Pag tumatanda ka pala talaga, ang dami mo nang iniisip na kung minsan, nakakainis at nakakabagot na. Kase paulit ulit na lang.

Sana dalawin na ako ng antok. At sana pag gising ko, maging masaya naman ako..hindi yung puru problema, pressure..stress.

Hoping everything's gonna be fine.No worries. Hang on lang lagi.

sad

..as days goes on and on..life really seems to be hard. =(

wondrin'

I promised myself, i'll make it up with my girls.

start of new year has been really hard for me although, i'm still very positive on my years and years ahead..only there's this one little side of me that's been very confusing and up to now, can't decide on it.

it's Monday now, few hours from work and yet..like any other responsible and hardworking working mom..all I can say is..hayyy! (big big sigh..)

i really dont know when will I ever be happy again.

i mean, it's not that i'm really..really not that happy about life, it's just that i have lot's of questions, worries and most of the time looking for contentment.

although, i know i should not look for it. i should be happy and contented and thankful for all the blessings.

dazed and confused. worried and frightened. all the negatives i know i have..yeah..didn't i mention i'm very positive about my years ahead??? =)

yup, i promised my two girls, i'll make it up with my 3 weeks of not focusing on them.because of me being not in the real world.

i know i'm madaya.selfish i guess. but i love them this much. i have to get back at my feet again.

For them.

what does ---- means?

just got home.. the team building?huh?! just fine..went to the office after that. I could have been more happier if mimay is there. But she's not, me sakit daw..ewan kung totoo..hahaha

before going to that event, i almost didn't want to go. nothing. i just don't want to.

tonight, i'ts been very hard, dealing with all this sort of entities in this world...dealing with reality. and i am thinking, i don't want to live my life in this very complicated world. For the past few weeks, cant help but to always say, life is a mess..i'ts chaos personified.

im really in a mess. i cant get off my feet.but somehow i have to decide. shall i continue? or i'll just let the chance pass me by.

oh my.

nothing

..been wondrin' lately..how life is really not in our hands. I've been questioning life ever since, and yet no answers content me. Been experiencing a lot of difficulties, but I've learned how to cherish little things. Worried on how things will work in each day. Scared to see my future. Frightened in almost everything. Guess this is just one of those days..where i didn't know how and to put away my miseries.

i'm starting this blog..

feelings...memories...life...decisions.☺